


Ich Liebe Dich

by waterlemons



Series: Glück [1]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Established Relationship, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, F/M, Fluff, Inaccuracy In Plot, M/M, With really Large Loopholes, nightsilver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 03:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7829272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterlemons/pseuds/waterlemons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Peter, life is all about the speed. The feel of his blood pumping, his veins hot and the breeze of the wind as he zips past life as well as all his troubles. Life with Kurt teaches him to stay where he is. It teaches him to stay rooted and be all there, even when Kurt isn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ich Liebe Dich

Peter sees himself as a cool figure amongst the bleak rows of mutant teenagers at the Xavier mansion. Deep down, he knows he doesn’t belong. He doesn’t belong anywhere in particular. He’s born with the purpose to run. He doesn’t belong sitting in a desk in the morning light; listening to Professor Xavier talking (no matter how passionate and beautiful and clipped his English accent goes. Mutant? _Mutant._ ) nor does he envision himself standing beside Magneto and his magenta ( _or maroon? Whatever_ ) billowing cape and going against the human race. 

Whatever or wherever he is, (if laying in the grass, walking up to his room or sitting on the couch) a penny drops and his heart takes a plunge, that’s where Kurt Wagner is and he has no qualms in staying where he knows his heart can’t leave. 

 

~

 

Things happened too fast and for someone who is capable of moving faster than the speed of sound, that says a lot. 

He hasn’t seen it coming. 

Most of the mansion is empty. The professor or Hank or Raven might be in their offices but most of the others, including Scott and Jean, Jubilee, Ororo and a bunch of their classmates are out in the back; lighting up fireworks, laughing, taking photos. It is definitely becoming a thing. A thing they do every once in a while to cheer things up since leaving the mansion past midnight, going to discos or parties by the beach is out of question. 

What Peter likes to do most nights on nights like these included him hogging the television and watching it in the dim light. He watches by himself till Kurt walks in; asking if he could join him on the couch. 

Peter happily scoots over to make room but quickly dismisses the wonderful feeling of the fleeting brush of their shoulders when Kurt moves. Grab Kurt’s hand? He could. Grab Kurt’s ass? He could. But most of all, he couldn’t have the heart to ruin such a rare moment. 

For the rest of the movie, there’s silence besides the occasional random commentary on account of Peter’s giddiness masked by his usual indifferent, nonchalant demeanor. Kurt responds back as equally as enthusiastic as a shy Kurt Wagner could and laughs openly and loud and Peter couldn’t help but stare. For science, of course. 

But for once, Kurt’s soft brush of his fingertips when they both reached for the remote control after the movie ended and the credits rolled against the black screen, Peter is caught off guard and stops breathing and stares into Kurt’s eyes. He couldn’t stop and he didn’t. 

_Oops, sorry_ , the moonlight streams in and he swears he sees Kurt recoiling but his pupils are dilated and his Adam’s apple bobs.

Peter remembers sliding a hand into the small of Kurt’s back; his other hand on Kurt’s neck. He pulled him in and Peter kissed him.

Words flew around in his head ( _Bliss. Shit. Amazing. Soft. Sweet. I’m sorry. Soft. Soft._ ) and he could feel sparks lighting up behind his closed eyelids. He couldn’t breathe and he doesn’t. He is too scared if he pulls back now, Kurt would get away. And everything would shatter. But he waits for a push. A sign of resistance. For his hands to feel dissipating skin or an empty side; left of nothing but lingering blue smoke. But it never came. Kurt had his fingers knotted into his hair, in Peter’s lap and kissing him back and all Peter could think of is to breathe. 

That night, they walk up to their respective rooms but Peter runs back and retrieves a jovial, happy Kurt. They spend the night huddled close; skin to skin, their legs intertwined and Kurt’s hand to Peter’s palpitating heart. 

 

~

 

5 years. They spent 5 happy years basking in their romance till it wasn’t happy anymore. Except that Peter was and promises, that he has always been happy. Kurt Wagner was his for 5 long, long years. 5 long years of Kurt Wagner. 5 short, happy years of waking up to Kurt Wagner, of Kurt Wagner kissing him back, returning his calls, of holding his hand, of depending on him and of everything else that Kurt has done for him. 

He made his life better and he’d lie if he hadn’t wanted to run to Kurt and cry on his doorstep and beg and beg and beg for him to come back to him and take him back. Every night he was tempted. Every single night. As if seeing him in the corridors wasn’t enough, Peter used to follow him everywhere if he could. Everywhere till he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Kurt wanted them to be friends again and when Peter attempted to patch things up, for them to become lovers again, Kurt told him to stop and Peter stopped trying. 

Staying in the same room as Kurt hurt him but he learned. 

He learned but he couldn’t quite get a hold of it. 

Even till this day. He watches Kurt ducks his head to plant a chaste kiss on Jubilee. 

There are cheers all around. Flower petals scattered everywhere and there are happy tears in Kurt’s eyes. Peter knows it because he’s learned it. He’s seen those tears. They are the same tears Kurt cried when Peter once promised that he’d never leave him. They were in Peter’s bed and snow was melting out on the grass.  
But it’s summer, now. 

 

~

 

Years dragged on till it happens. Peter was doing so, so well. He was doing fine but it had to happen. It didn’t have to happen, Peter thinks now, it didn’t have to happen and he never was okay to begin with yet he learned to live with it anyway.

But standing by Jean’s side with her arm in his and his shoulder wet, a bouquet of lilies tied in violet ribbons in one loose grip and familiar faces around after years of separation.  
He isn’t going to be okay. It’s hard. He remembers Jean telling him again and again when she came with the awful news and Scott was there too, _It’s okay, Peter. You know him, right? I thought that since you and him had something special… I thought it’s only right that you know… He’s our Kurt Wagner. I know he’ll be okay. We must be strong._

That same night Peter ran as fast and as far as he could. He didn’t want to face a world without the knowledge of Kurt standing and breathing and laughing on the same ground as he did. 

_A better place? Better? What does that even mean?_

To Peter, Kurt being on Earth and happy with whoever he has by his side is the best place Peter could ever imagine Kurt living in. All along, he imagined them going into battle together one day and perhaps, by a rare chance of miracle, dying side by side. Together. Hand in hand.

But there he is; in his black suit and black tie and shiny shoes. There he is hugging Jubilee. There he is breaking down in the dead of night with a clenched fist to his heart.  
Missing Kurt and wishing he had seen Kurt even in his last moments. 

Thing is, Peter never stopped loving Kurt for a second. He loved Kurt for all that he was, even if that meant for them to be friends. And from now on, he’ll have to learn to love forever. 

 

~

 

His body is sore and he couldn’t move. 

Peter’s eyes flutters open first and he sees the cream-colored ceiling. He sees the open window and from where he is, he could see tall buildings, he could smell the smell of rain wafting in and he could see the beginnings of a sunshine leaking through the grey. 

He almost forgets. He remembers Scott and Jean making him dance on the table; stripped to nothing save for his boxers after winning a bet but Logan started throwing an adult tantrum and everything stopped because Kitty Pryde was crying. The rest of the night? He couldn’t quite remember. 

Then he shoots up. He feels and sees the sheets pooling around his waist and then he feels a hand falling just by his side. He hears a long groan and when he finally turns, he sees Kurt stirring and yawning. Kurt’s eyes are open and he is watching Peter; a tentative smile slowly breaking out.

“Holy hell, Pete,” Kurt chuckles after carefully watching Peter watching him for three full minutes in utter silence, “You look like you could throw up any minute now.”

“I-”

“Do it in the bathroom, please. In the toilet.”

“Kurt, I-”

“And don’t ask me to help you because I already told you that we had company and that you shouldn’t drink too much.”

“Kurt,” Peter latches a grip onto Kurt’s shoulders. _It’s real. By God, it’s real._

“Peter?” Kurt genuinely looks concerned by then, “Are you okay?”

“I love you, Kurt Wagner. _Ich liebe dich._ ”

There is a moment of silence till it breaks. Kurt bursts out giggling; his shoulders shake and his eyes crinkle and his hand is on Peter’s heaving chest and Peter could feel tears forming in his eyes. 

“Wow,” Kurt exhales, “The last I’ve heard that was when I proposed a game of monopoly last night. Stop being dramatic. It’s not good for my blood pressure.”

It’s real. He’s had that same dream after the first night they were together in Peter’s bed back in Xavier’s mansion after watching that film on the tele. For 15 years now, the same dream came back for once and it never fails to knock the fucking wind out of Peter Maximoff-Wagner. 

Just to be sure, Peter glances down to the weight on his finger and he feels his heart leaps at the silver band glistening in the morning light. For once, he has never taken it off and he knows that the Kurt he knows and loves and married would never let him run off anywhere. Not without him. 

Now, he scrutinizes Kurt. Kurt Wagner. Kurt holding his hands. Kurt placing both of his hands on his blue cheeks. Kurt kissing his palms. Kurt telling him, “But I love you too, Peter. Come on. I told you Raven’s in town. We should go see her. Come on. I’m hungry.”

And forever, Peter will always give thanks to life and his parents (wherever his father may be) and to God. He thanks them that he has been given the life he now has with Kurt Wagner. 

 

**Das Ende**

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! Thank you for reading this till the end. It's the first fanfic I've ever posted and English isn't my first language. But I really tried because I love NightSilver and I've always wanted to contribute something for this ship. And here I am haha. It's inspired by The One by Kodaline. Please leave a comment! :)


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